False Simultaneity: Can These Actions Happen Together?
Quickly showering, she threw on her favorite dress.
I strode out the door, hopping on my bicycle.
Tripping on the carpet, he landed hard on the coffee table.
This is a construction I often see in my work as an editor, and it doesn’t quite work. Do you see the problem? It’s called false simultaneity. Each of these sentences employs a participial phrase: quickly showering, hopping on my bicycle, tripping on the carpet. Participial phrases are modifiers, adding detail to the main clause of the sentence rather than serving as a separate clause. In these examples, that means the action in the participial phrase should be happening at the same time as the action in the main clause.
She threw on her favorite dress while quickly showering.
I hopped on my bicycle while striding out the door.
He landed hard on the coffee table while tripping on the carpet.
Do you see the problem now? The actions in each of these sentences should be sequential, not simultaneous.
She quickly showered and threw on her favorite dress.
I strode out the door and hopped on my bicycle.
He tripped on the carpet and landed hard on the coffee table.
So when does a participial phrase work? When the action in the participial phrase is modifying or happening at the same time as the main clause.
Feeling rushed, she showered quickly and threw on her favorite dress.
Shivering with the cold, I hopped on my bicycle.
Striding out the door, I neglected to notice the note on the doormat.
Staring out the window, he tripped on the carpet.
Participial phrases add detail to your writing and help vary the structure of sentences. Just be sure to keep the order of actions straight and to watch out for false simultaneity.
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